Thursday, 20 May 2010

Being Fat Is A Civic Duty

Today the Tuck Shop Boys, David Cameron and Nick Clegg unleashed their super big teamwork folder in orange and blue handwriting. Dave's going to do more of the housework and Nick's going to help out with the kids a bit more. Anyway, the best bit of the press conference was Dave's coalition soft-sell.

"When you take Conservative plans to strengthen families and encourage social responsibility and add them to the Liberal Democrat passion for protecting our civil liberties and stopping the relentless incursion of the state into the lives of individuals, you create a big society matched by big citizens."

Where do I sign up to being a big citizen. I cant wait. Something to stick on the CV instead of being unemployed. "Although currently out of paid work, my weight increase through depression/fast food/laziness (delete as appropriate) has enabled me to become a big citizen."

So there we have it, being a big citizen is the must-have new fat excuse. "I'm not fat, I'm a big citizen." Ace, I'm off for some chips and a lager as part of my civic duty.

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